OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize