I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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