We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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