I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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