She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
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