: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
