all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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