So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
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I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
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You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
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