Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Randomize
