that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
