I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
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