Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
