I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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