Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
