HIV tests are more positive than that guy
This is not my ceiling
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Randomize
