Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
