that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I still have a little drunk in my system
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
