were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
she told me i tasted like america
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Randomize
