So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
COCAINE IS GR8
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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