And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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