he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
we're so committed to being not committed
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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