my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
