It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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