she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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