well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I have tasted many bathrooms
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
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