I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
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Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
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I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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