ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
I forgot how hot balto sounded
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Randomize
