I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize