sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
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