I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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