Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
