no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Randomize
