It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
