I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
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