i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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