i barfeds in our rink
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize