is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
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