You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
