Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
it was like eating out sand paper
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
3pm strippers are depressing
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
