I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
