you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
