There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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