What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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