Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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