This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
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