I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
