I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Randomize
