She's JV to your varsity
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
