What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
no, he came in my armpit
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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