At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
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