Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Randomize
