Already got asked if we're dating
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
