Banned from zoo.
Again?
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize