Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
