we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
