We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Randomize
