the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
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He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
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Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
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