I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Randomize