if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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