i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
