My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Randomize
