quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
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