I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Randomize
