and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Randomize
