I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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