Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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