it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
