She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
