Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Randomize
