She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
