Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I puked a lego.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
