I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
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